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October 06 2017
















ok people ask a lot about what your earliest childhood memory is, but here’s a hot new one:

what’s the earliest dream/nightmare you had that you can remember?

Mine was that a monster that exclusively killed children was climbing up my staircase and the only place we could hide from it was under my parent’s bed, where my sister was already hiding. But I couldn’t get under there so the monster killed me but it freeze framed just before I died and it turned into a Breaking News headline about my death on an old TV.

When I was about 4-5, I had this nightmare about walking down a very long dimly lit hallway with no doors.  I think it was like an office building as it looked very bland and colorless with those crapy ceiling tiles like you have at school and bad linoleum floors.   Anyway, I was walking down it in my pajamas, holding a teddy bear, and ahead I see insulation exposed.  But it’s not from the ceiling or wall, it’s on the floor and it looked like very old and shredded insulation like something tried to tear it out of the floor.  I’m not thinking much of it but I keep walking and step in it…only…it’s not insulation, it becomes a big ol grizzly bear that grabs my leg.  I woke up immediately after that.

Just remembered i had another around the same time, i don’t know if it was before or after the grizzly one.  But i had a dream about two wolves crashing through my bedroom window.  I don’t remember anything before or after that dream moment but growling and them crashing through the window.  All because my cat got in a fight with another cat right outside my window and it influenced my dream and woke me up.

I don’t know which came first, the recurring Tree Nightmare or Why I Hate E.T., so I’ll do both.

The Tree Nightmare was one I had a few times, and the dream itself was just as scary as the fact that it kept happening. So I’m in a tree, like climbing up for fun, and I feel something give, and I know I’m about to fall. But for some reason I look down to watch it happen, and it’s one of those where you can FEEL yourself falling too. So I fall, watching the ground come up at me, and then I wake up in bed like I landed there instead. 

Why I Hate E.T. stems from the fact that the freaky alien dude still freaks me out to this day because I can’t stand the fact that you can see his heart, or that his neck does the thing, or that he walks with uneven wobbles by waving his arms rather than, like, having legs, or that his breathing is raspy and spooky as shit, or that his skin looks like actual shit holy shit I just can’t.

So in this dream I’m in my kitchen, and I’m running towards the door, and I hear that god-awful wet slapping sound on the linoleum and I turn around to see that fucking creepy alien running at me, so I try to open the door to the outside, but I’m a small child, so of course I can’t get it open. So E.T. grabs me from behind and starts laughing this awful raspy laugh that makes me sick to my stomach, and I try to push him away, but his skin is literal shit, so my hands just kind of sink in and slide off, so I try biting him, but it’s like biting into half-dried glue, so I just get brown shit stuck to the inside of my mouth and I can’t talk or hardly breathe and that awful fucking raspy breathing happens instead, so I realize the only way to get myself out of this nightmare is to scream, but I can’t past the brown gunk in my mouth, so I take a deep breath, look this alien fuck in the eyes, and with all my might scream a the top of my lungs like my life fucking depends on it because it does.

And then I wake up. This one, now that I think about it, also happened more than once, because I remember knowing the scream would wake me up and eventually being able to calm myself down enough to actually scream.

So. Yeah. Fuck E.T. 

i was holding onto a chain dangling over a pit of three brown bears. that’s it, that was the dream.

A giant eagle burst through my bedroom window and took me, my best friend, and my dad to it’s nest. I never found out what happened once we got there cause I kept waking up. It was a recurring one for a while.

When I was a kid a lot of my dreams came true so its hard to remeber what was a dream and what was a memory.

i remember bein chased by a creepy dark shadow and turning a corner only to run straight into it. I remember seeing the red glowing eyes and then waking up right after that.

when i just started school i was deathly afraid of walking home alone cuz of this old as fuck purple rickety poster child of haunted houses that i’d have to walk past every day. but about two houses past the Monster House was this big beautiful white picket fence type brick house, with a gorgeous plum blossom tree that always smelled good and i knew i was safe if i made it to that house. 

anyway, the actual dream

5 year old me dreamt i was walking home from school one day and i BOOKED it past the Monster House when i reached the brick house with the tree. So I frolicked in the falling flower petals! but instead of flower petals i got pelted with falling monkeys screaming in a rage and then the fuckers tickled me to death and i woke up in a cold sweat even more afraid of walking home with a new fear of monkeys that’s lasted till adulthood.

The biggest terror of my childhood was the T-rex from A Land Before Time. I had a recurring dream that I was trapped next to the stairs to the basement in my house, and every time I would try to go past, calling out for my mom, the T-rex would jump out of the stairwell and try to eat me.

My earliest memory and the first dream I can remember are actually the same - it was the night before my third birthday and my family and all my cousins were at a waterpark.  Being Almost 3 and having never been to a water park before, in my dream it was basically just a swingset on a lake surrounded by woods.  I was on the swing, and my cousins told me to get off, we were done playing now.  The only way to get off the swings without getting in the water was to jump from the swing to the shore, and jumping off the swing while it was in motion was The Cool Thing To Do and I had seen my cousins do it many times.  So of course I try, and of course I fall in.  I didn’t know how to swim then, and I just started sinking down through the water.  There are all these huge fish swimming below me, and this big fish eventually turns to me and opens its mouth, inside of which is my childhood home and it says “This is your home.”

After that I woke up to my grandparents surprising me (they lived far away but came down to visit for my birthday) and the dream never happened again.  But it was weird enough that 3 year old me would not stop talking about it and I guess that made it stick in my memory

Falling into a pit of snakes and being unable to scramble out.

The face of the Magic Mirror (from Disney’s Snow White) was on the wall above my bed. When I woke up crying, my dad came in, assured me it was a simple fix, and wiped the wall where the face was and said he’d take it to his room. I /was concerned I would see it again during Books or when I slept in my parents’ room, but I never did!

Walking past this row of houses at night, and there was a little row of bricks that had this little ’m’ shape. Anyway, one of them has a face, and it looks at me, and then falls over.
Terrified the hell outta me, I don’t know why.

My recurring nightmare as a kid was that my family turned into vampires and were trying to kill me.

You really don’t have to have a PhD in psychology to get that I had, er, trust issue with my family.

I remember that I’d have nightmares about dogs or wolves under my bed,snarling and biting at my hands and feet. They always had red eyes,

I’ve had a recurring dream for as long as I remember, where a huge eagle (usually the one from the Medieval video game) would carry me to a cliff edge and drop me, and there were these huge bloody spikes at the bottom, and I’d was as I was impaled.




You can buy 1500 ladybugs on amazon








I just had a grown man tell me to “go make me a sandwich” as I was doing his pourover

I told him I didn’t understand what he meant because we’re a coffee shop, and he was like “oh it’s a joke” and I said I “didn’t get it” and he went “it’s funny because you’re a woman working in a kitchen”

And I just stared at him until he got how stupid he sounded

let them feel their ignorance burn into their souls

October 05 2017


old mcdonald had a farm


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We know the name of the guy who killed 58+ people. Let’s memorize the name of the guy who SAVED 30 people!

Jonathan Smith. Salute!


Wasn’t iCarly that guy with the wax wings that flew into the sun and fucking got rekt because same








I͔̟̠̻̽̋̌͋͌́̆T̶̠̖̙͙͈̐͂S̽ͥͣ̄̄̚͝ ͖̞̈́͗̄̿͐O̠̪̙͊ͯ͒͐͐̐̐Cͭ̃͛́T̍ͣ́ͮͩŎ̈́҉Ḅ̞ͦ̾̄͗̓͛͘E̸̥̩̦̝̲̊̉͋̅̋̒̿R̲̝͔̪̬͎̯̎̋


fun fact but actually children’s safety IS every adults responsibility

you should do everything in your power to ensure that kids around you stay safe

its not one or two peoples responsibility, its fuckin everyone’s because its a huge goddamn job and kids cannot fend for themselves, thats the definition of childhood

listing your age or at least that you are an adult somewhere visible on your blog is the bare minimum so that kids can AT LEAST be aware that you are older than them and can avoid you if they dont feel safe or avoid treating you like one of their peers by accident

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October 04 2017





protip if you ever eat too much sour/acidic shit and you burn layers off your tongue suck on a tums tablet cause theyre used as stomach antacids but i didnt consider that it would act immediately on acidic surfaces but it does and it provides temporary tongue comfort

this would have been useful information when i murdered my mouth eating ten warheads in a row

hey quick question what was going through your mind when doing that

“urghurhur im love eat sour”

it was a bad call


aaawh oh man oh jeez Rick this seems like suspiciously aphobic or possibly terfy

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every time I see this it reminds me of Eric



A back tattoo that says “ask me about my back tattoo”

“what back tattoo?”

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My beautiful baby Lilah turned 2 this summer!




i have this short book called “the cia’s greatest hits” and its like a compilation of a bunch of evil shit the cia has done, 2 pages each per operation and i cant find a pdf anywhere but its worth reading and i wish i could link it bc the cia is fucking vile and they should be more widely hated and more americans should know about all of the disgusting and horrific stuff theyve been responsible for

If it’s the one written by Mark Zepezauer, it’s on the Library Genesis

or if you want the cartoons, it’s on

yes thats it

nature is gay





if you go outside youre gay thats why they call it coming out 

These kinds of jokes are so fucking cringy. Why is cuck humor like this? Tumblr humor is just so unfunny..

cuck humor

that dude wants to fuck trains

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Just imagine a world full of beautiful stained glass windows which also generate electricity…

[Oxford Photovoltaics]


You are not your parent’s possessions.
You are not your parent’s possessions.
You are not your parent’s possessions.
You are not your parent’s possessions.
You are not your parent’s possessions.
You are not your parent’s possessions.
You are not your parent’s possessions.
You are not your parent’s possessions.
You are not your parent’s possessions.
You are not your parent’s possessions.
You are not your parent’s possessions.
You are not your parent’s possessions.
You are not your parent’s possessions.
You are not your parent’s possessions.
You are not your parent’s possessions.
You are not your parent’s possessions.

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